For a change, I decided to style this recap in TWoP manner. TWoP stands for “Television Without Pity”, and this episode was about television that has no mercy, natch.
Its “Then” section features a sequence of clips from Season 3’s “Mystery Spot”, so you probably guess who’s coming to dinner this week. Especially that the boys almost prefigured his appearance two episodes back, when they dealt with creepy children cursed with a “9-year-old”/“Trickster” sense of humour.
The episode proper opens up with a scene from a Supernatural Sitcom, if there ever was one, with its unusually bright colours. The camera pans in on a room decorated with yellow, flower-patterned wallpaper. An un(super)naturally chirpy Dean turns away from the fridge (“We don’t have a fridge”, he complained two episodes back, and, behold, Dean, wishes come true) to marvel at a skyscraper-high sandwich on a plate at the centre of the table. Dean smiles and deadpans, “I’m gonna need a bigger mouth”, and the invisible audience bursts out laughing, perhaps savouring the filthy overtones of his remark. The door to the right opens to let Sam in. In a fit of intuitive brotherly synchronicity, Sam repeats Dean’s joke. The audience unleashes another bout of laughter. Sam asks Dean if he had done his “research” yet (Dean? Research?), and what have you been up to all night, Sammy? Dean assures him he had done “all kinds of research”, and at that the door to the left opens up to give us a view of a pretty brunette wearing nothing but a natty bra and knickers (not sure if they were pink ones). The chick invites Dean for more “research”, and the audience erupts into giggles again. Hard to tell what frustrates Sam more – their silly laughter or yet another girl trying to jump his brother’s bones – but he’s clearly unamused, and it shows. Sam lets out a suggestive “Deean?”, folds his arms and fixes his mightily disapproving stare on the girl.
Me, I’m having a flashback of vanity at that point. Back in 2008 I did my first essay on Supernatural, and there was a question about “chemistry” in it. Let me quote: “… the two actors play… so faithfully I can’t resist… I wonder if I actually felt the way should they run this same stuff, like fighting (lovingly) over snacks and cars, in a sitcom”. What? If this episode goes into meta and self-references, so may I. “I can really picture the scene, with handfuls of italics and ready-to-flame-you stares”. So, “snacks”? There are. “Italics”? Galore. “Stares”? Sure. “In a sitcom”? Exactly. Obviously, I’m a little Chuck. And when Supernatural filmed the sitcom scene for real, did it “feel the way”, was that chemistry “faithful”? You bet it. Thanks, show.
The teaser is followed by carefully constructed opening credits roll mocking daytime sitcoms of the past. “Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester”. Sam Winchester as The-Boy-Afraid-Of-The-Things-In-The-Closet (hi, Season 1). The boys bump into each other while sauntering through a crime scene with their flashlights at the ready, faking “you scared the crap out of me” faces, and then dissolve into overly enthusiastic laughter over their own silliness. The yellow title card looks deceptively innocent. And the wacky Happy Supernatural Family Theme Tune plays over the credits. That’s how our hunters’ everyday life could have looked like. Now you get how important their eternal misery is?
The colours of the opening sequence fade out into the scene of a busy hospital corridor. A nurse and a doctor jump into the elevator, and, once the doors are closed, the two scramble on each other in a passionate kiss. The camera backs away slowly, and we realize that the kissing medicos are nothing but characters in a TV show Dean is watching. Hold on, I want you to savour this fact: Dean is watching a hospital show on TV. And he’s hypnotised by it. Sam seems equally confused as he enters the room. “When did you hit menopause?” he wonders, to which Dean mumbles something about “channel surfing”. And, Sam, you’ve got the end of the world looming over your heads like that Greek sword, so if your brother wants to alleviate the tedium of waiting the way he can, don’t you laugh at him, will you?
The boys are donning their trademark FBI suits already, and the next thing we know, they are demanding information from a police officer. Since the actual case only serves as a springboard into the main events of the episode, I’ll keep it brief and say it involves a brutal murder of a rather brutal bloke by a brutal bear. Unlike the police, the brutal bloke’s wife has another version of what had happened, the one both she and the cops consider crazy. Crazy? Strange? That’s our brave hunters’ cup of tea, so Sam and Dean encourage the woman to share her wild guesses with them. “No, it must have been a bear. I mean, what else could it have been?” she hesitates, and Sam asks “Mrs. Randolph” to tell them “what do you think it was?”, and the woman replies “No, I, I remember clearly now. It was definitely a bear”, and then Dean says “We’re sure it was. But see, it helps us to hear every angle. So just tell us what you thought you saw”, and what is it but a postmodern, every-interpretation-is-equally-valid approach in action? Dean is a friggin’ cultural anthropologist. The woman claims she saw the Incredible Hulk murder her husband. And how many people who believed that fictional monsters can kill had you showed us already, Supernatural? Evil Santa, huh? Hey, wait, who’s more fictional, Hulk or the hunters? Meta madness starts to unfurl.
Another sign of how twisted and upside down things in this episode are, follows in short order: Dean’s doing a research for the grisly murder on the laptop (Dean. Still with the research), when Sam returns from his crime scene investigation, finding nothing more but a bunch of candy wrappers he lets shower on the table from his hand. Smart Sam promptly figured out the monster behind the case is the Trickster. He remembers the Trickster is a sweet tooth, and also, with Lilith dead, the Trickster is probably the second monster after Lucifer who’s on Sam’s seek-and-destroy list. He killed his brother a hundred times, and Sam is not about to forget it. I think.
But, wait, for some even weirder reason, Sam proposes that they should try to find out whose side the Trickster is on, and attempt to get him to help them in the upcoming war. But Dean’s got issues with the desserts-loving monster, too, so it’s his time to mock his hopeful brother: “…you wanna be Facebook friends with him? Nice, Sammy”.
The next thing we know, the boys are biding their time in the motel room, Dean is working on a wooden stake (and may I vent my frustration here: these silly wooden stakes are my second pet hate object on Supernatural after the black smoke – when you’ve got shotguns and all this cool ammo around, the boys are forced to make fools of themselves with these non-weapons. Note that the Trickster, whom these stakes are supposed to kill, makes fools of them, too), while Sam is monitoring the short wave frequencies. In a short while, he overhears a dialogue between two cops, and the younger one can’t even describe the strange sight he’s observing in a crime scene. Brave hunters promptly decide it’s the Trickster’s doing, hop into the Impala, and drive off to the location.
To their disbelief, the place looks like no murder or police investigation ever happened here. The boys brace up, ready their stakes, and break into the warehouse building they believe hides their current danger, but the moment they are inside, they’ve magically entered another universe. Their weapons are gone, and suddenly they’re wearing white doctor’s suits (looks good, yum), and nurses and other doctors are scuttling past them. Sam and Dean flabbergastedly stroll along the clinic’s corridor, and in a short while Dean gets to recognize three woman doctors he knows by the names, and how? ‘Cause he quickly realizes they are in “Dr. Sexy, MD” (hi, Chuck’s publisher), the “guilty pleasure” TV show he was watching this morning. Dean must be in heaven. He describes every doctor as “the sexy yet earnest”, “the sexy but arrogant” or “the sexy yet neurotic”. However, he’s puzzled by the lack of cameras and lightning. Like he’s ever been filmed. Oh, wait, Dean wasn’t, but Jensen was, and Dean, look again, don’t you see them cameras down there at the corner? Man, it’s a double-fold reality.
It gets even funnier when “Dr. Sexy, MD” happens to feature a ghost, too – whom the boys can totally see nevertheless, and still funnier when a woman doctor approaches them and generously slaps Sam across the face (hi, “The End”’s Risa). Twice. The hell? Don’t you just know it: relationship crisis. She says: “You’re a brilliant coward”. Word, Miss. It’s so sad no nurse or woman doctor will assault Dean, I bet he wouldn’t mind. But he’s got a greater reward coming his way soon, for, let me tell you, Dean’s got a nurse fetish and a doctor fetish, too, for when the sexy yet sexy Dr. Sexy himself appears down the corridor and, hands in pockets, walks towards the boys, Dean almost swoons like… like a girl, admit it. Supernatural, what are you doing to him? Pink panties, huh? Now he’s totally man-crushing on a hot surgeon. I guess it’s not without reason Dr. Sexy resembles John Winchester a wee bit. Dean, Dean, do you still need someone to look up to? It’s so poignant that it’s funny.
Dr. Sexy tells his fake colleagues off – turns out, they failed to fulfill his order to perform an “experimental face transplant” on a “Mrs. Beale”. The boys are all “Who we? We ain’t no surgeons”, and Dean is adorably lost for words. Dean is LOST FOR WORDS. Until he spots a certain irregularity in Dr. Sexy’s attire: “… part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. Not tennis shoes”, he snarls, shoving the man against the wall and pressing his forearm into his neck. Dr. Sexy quickly gives in, and lets his manfully bearded face morph into the Trickster’s sly mug. Mr. Trickster, you do love a pretty boy at your throat, admit.
He reveals to the geniuses they have walked into another clever trap he had set up for them, deceived by the fake radio message he’d concocted specifically to con them into the “TV Land” – the insides of 300 TV channels. Sam attempts to talk to him but the Trickster refuses to listen until they prove they can survive a day in the “TV Land”. Leaving no book of rules behind, he disappears (boys, think, who else vanishes like that, what kind of supernatural beings? You know one).
And then the show begins for real. Being a TV doctor is a dangerous job as we learn when Mrs. Beale’s deranged husband squeezes a shot straight into Dean’s back, and Dean slides to the floor and Sam calls out for a doctor and how it all is not a déjà vu, and Dean – no, not again.
Next thing we know, Dean is lying face down on the table in an operating room, while Sam, dressed in full surgeon gear (already looking awesome) and surrounded by a host of helpful nurses, tizzes over Dean’s small but obviously scary wound. A nurse pushes a scalpel into his hands, but Sam’s all I can’t do it, I’m not a surgeon, can’t work this thing. But Dean’s urging him to do something before he bleeds to death, and Sam takes a deep breath, requests for a penknife, a dental floss, a sewing needle and a fifth of whiskey, and seconds later we see him patching up his brother’s back like nobody’s business. Looking all the more awesome doing it, and know what, Jared? Casting people from “Dr. Sexy, MD” are furiously e-mailing you. You are Dr. Sexy. A cheesy romantic ballad playing at the background enhances the awesomeness of this scene. Hurt! Comfort! Homo! Erotic! Bravo, show.
Before we can fantasize a slash romance of Dr. Sam Winchester and his patient/brother, we’re off to another channel and straight into a Japanese TV game show called “Nut Cracker”. The boys get their legs firmly fixed to the floor in immovable ankle-high boots, and the question time immediately begins. The lively Japanese quiz master poses the first question to Sam in (you guessed it) Japanese: “What was the name of the demon you chose over your own brother?”, but as Sam only learnt Spanish and Latin, and is too pressed for time to call linguistically-talented Mr. Singer, he’s forced to watch his 20 seconds slip away, and when his time is up, it’s his turn to be subjected to physical violence – a large pendulum plants two perfectly measured whacks onto his groin, and Sam grimaces and doubles over in pain, and Dean? A little comforting would be just in time. Sadly, he hasn’t got a cool whiskey bottle from “Afterschool Special” around. But… shut up, filthy mind, leave it to Live Journal.
Suddenly Castiel emerges out of the clouds of FX smoke, like a pop star. How did he find his silly human brothers? Whatever, but neither the host nor the Trickster would allow him entry (“Mr. Trickster does not like pretty boy angels”), so before Castiel can lift his hands and touch his fingers to Sam and Dean’s foreheads to bring them home, he vanishes. No sigils are involved, and you wonder what kind of monster the Trickster is if he can beat an angel?
The host’s next question is to Dean: “Would your mother and father still be alive if your brother was never born?” You know, even if it was in English, Dean and us would probably be racking their brains for eternity. Me, I refuse to even answer this. But Dean is less than eager to suffer two injuries in one day, so he’s frantically searching for a response. Sam advises him to embrace his role, and reply in Japanese, so Dean just parrots the host’s words without knowing what he says, and he actually says “yes”. But his junk is saved. Nice, show. The man was not afraid to die for the love of his brother, but the prospect of “getting it in the nuts” makes him disown and betray the boy?
Another TV channel and a new round of humiliation. Obviously, the booster shots he took to battle the clap from the previous episode, didn’t help – and neither did the “Nut Cracker” – so now Sam is starring in the “Herpexia” commercial. Distinctly uncomfortable, he states, “I’ve got genital herpes. But now I take twice-daily Herpexia to reduce my chances of passing it on. I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the spread of – of genital herpes. And that’s a good thing”. A footage of a woman doing yoga (hi, “touchy-feely self-help crap”, would be just in time) is incorporated into the ad. Sam finishes his guilt-ridden safe sex speech and, in disgust, stumbles to join a group of basketball players to awkwardly land a ball of fiery anger into the basket, and, Sam, have you ever considered a side career apart from hunting? ‘Cause you even make genital herpes commercials look hot.
Flick, and we’re back to where the teaser stopped. Sam icily stares at the girl in natty underwear, and then urgently heads for her, and you almost think he’s going to slam the bathroom door in Dean’s face and delve into all-night-long “research” himself there and then. But instead he gently but firmly leads the girl towards the exit, and what, is he about to let her go out with scarcely any clothes on? The moment she’s gone, Sam and Dean stare at each other in a what-are-we-doing-now way, and you almost believe their roles in the Trickster-induced pervy sitcom required them to fall into each other’s arms at that point.
But before the two can let their inhibitions slip away and launch into whatever man-to-man action, Dean lets his character fall for a moment, and asks Sam, “How long do we have to keep doing this?” Shooting side-eyes at Dean, Sam mutters through his clenched teeth and strained smile, “I dunno… Maybe forever?... We might die in here”. The audience rolls on the floor laughing. Dean glares into their direction (that is, at us) and breaks: “How is that funny? Vultures”.
Out of nowhere, Castiel reappears to the audience’s cheers, this time with a bloody scratch across his face and much more stressed look in his eyes. As soon as he manages to quip, “This thing is much more powerful than it should be”, the Trickster shows up, hailed by loud cheers from the audience. In a quick sway of his remote-controlling arm, he flings Castiel against the wall, telekinetically putting a piece of duct tape over his mouth at the same time.
The Trickster and the boys hurl dramatic insults at each other, and then the Trickster offers a pact: he lets them go if the guys agree to play their roles “out there”: “Sam starring as Lucifer, Dean starring as Michael”. Supernatural, you won’t stop until every single monster waves whips and carrots into the brothers’ faces, cajoling them into saying “yes” to the two Archangels, right? Otherwise, the Trickster menaces, Sam and Dean will have to spend the rest of their lives in the TV Land (“Three hundred channels and, uh, nothing’s on” – good point, Captain Trickvious. But wait, don’t millions of people do exactly that and can’t even think of a better way to live?) The Trickster warns Dean to never presume that he can know who he really is, and vanishes, leaving the guys in confusion and distress.
On to another channel, and into a “procedural cop show”, and Dean is railing – it’s not because he’s sick of being a Trickster’s puppet, but rather because he hates procedural cop shows – “they are all the freakin’ same”. We know Dean has his grudges against the police, so his tantrums are, uh, understandable.
Sam, though, seems to have adopted to his role quite well, and just encourages Dean to compose himself and “follow his lead”, as the boys put on their best “CSI: Miami” tough-guy faces and interview another cop about the fresh corpse they’ve got on their hands. The young officer in question is sucking on a lollipop, so both took him for a Trickster in disguise, and Dean runs his suddenly-out-of-nowhere wooden stick into the guy’s belly, and we see how the weapon tears the insides of the poor sod’s abdominals, which is impressively disgusting. However, the sweets-loving guy just lays down and dies, while the Trickster merrily laughs at Sam and Dean’s mistake, for it was another of his tricks. But then fast-thinking Sam attacks the giggling monster from behind, and the Trickster’s smile turns into a stifled scream as he falls to the ground, obviously dead.
A moment later, the scenery around shifts, colours dull out, and the boys find themselves back to the abandoned warehouse whose unfortunate door led them into the TV Land.
Moments after, Dean is washing his face and hands in the bathroom sink of their motel room, while speaking to his brother: “I’m worried, man. What that S.O.B. did to Cas. You know, where is he?” Silence follows in return, so he looks around, and there’s not a trace of Sam to be found. “Where are you?”, Dean wonders symmetrically, and, too tired to fret lyrical about another enigma in store, goes out to fetch the Impala and leave in search of both wayward men he’s so foolishly lost. Soon it becomes clear the Trickster, evidently, apart from hiding behind other people’s faces, can also create his own physical doubles to mess with the boys’ heads for as soon as Dean gets in the car, his baby speaks to him, and Dean jumps in his seat – not because his car is speaking, but because it’s been transgendered, too, for the voice he hears is Sam’s. To think he was always sure the Impala was a pretty girl. Sadly, for some reason, Dean is ignoring the excellent opportunity to take the piss out of Sammy.
Grave and focussed Dean and man-machine Sam are figuring out a very timely plan as they drive back to the TV Land-portalled warehouse, and for some reason I really love the “Knight Rider” theme tune whizzing at the background.
Sooner or later, the knight riders arrive to the location, and Dean proceeds to fumble for something in the Impala’s trunk, at which point the car bitchvoices, “Dean? That, uh, feels very uncomfortable”. Dean slams the trunk door rather hard, and gets a perfectly articulated “Ow” in return, and I’m not even asking for a fanfic.
Dean calls out for the Trickster, faking surrender, and the triumphant monster appears. Before they are talking, Dean demands Sam back in human form, and at the click of the Trickster’s fingers a disapproving-looking Sam steps out of the car. Only to fling a lighter and put to flames the ring of Jerusalem
Once caught, the comedian monster drops his black humour, and confesses, with much nudging from the boys, that he is, in fact, Archangel Gabriel. Turns out, he hated watching his brothers fight, so he relocated to the Earth, had a face transplant, and created his own little corner of peace for himself. But then along came Sam and Dean and crashed his little world. Gabriel practically spells out for them how intrinsic their spiritual connection with Michael and Lucifer is (“You were born to this”). With great passion, he speaks of love, betrayal and the brother-kills-brother drama that lies ahead. He hits all the sore spots. Dean’s all wait, wait, wait, there’s no way I’m doing this (while Sam is guiltily silent), and will you bring Cas back, now.
Basically, Gabriel’s objective is the same as that of Raphael – they want this war to be over as soon as possible, and go back to paradise on Earth, or something. Such a shame they can’t do it directly and are forced to rely on the two stubborn human beings.
So far we’ve met Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel in person, so when is it Michael’s turn? ‘Cause, Michael, your own brothers are on the verge already (can’t manage these stupid Kansas
Anyway, history repeats as Dean, Castiel and Sam turn to leave another Archangel trapped into the ring of holy fire. Gabriel quite miserably pleads, “You’re just gonna, you’re gonna leave me here forever?” Dean turns to him, telling the monster how he’s “too afraid to stand up with your family” (and what, you guys thought the Trickster would be more open-minded than other Archangels and help you with your job?), and then breaks the glass in the fire alarm box on the wall, triggering a shower of water from the sprinklers over Gabriel and the flaming circle. “Don’t say I never did anything for you”, tells Dean mercifully, and the awesome threesome leave.
The boys steer towards the Impala, and as they’re about to hit the road, Dean says, “Right about now I wish I was back in a TV show”, and Sam wistfully replies, “Yeah, me too”. And, Dean, I hate to break it to you, but you are in a TV show right now. In fact, all your life you’ve lived in the TV Land, you know that? You were born and bred there, man. And, Sam, the last but one episode ended up in exactly the same way, remember, with you “me too”ing to Dean’s “I wish Dad would’ve lied to us”. Suppose the next episode Dean says “I wish I was back to Hell”? And, Castiel, don’t be shy, jump in the car, even if they forget to invite you.
And you thought “The Monster At The End Of This Book” was funny. Mr. Carver (Jeremy), I think I love you.
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